Wednesday, April 2, 2014

The First 21 Pages in My Notebook, Itemized and with minimal commentary

1) Books I've read from 2-12-12 to 2-17-12
           (equal to four)
2) 20 Lines of Iambic Pentameter
           (Actual lines: 10)
3) List of unfinished books
4) List of attributed quotations
           (Instances of my own poorly written poetry: 1)
5) Culture for Pigeons
6) [redacted]
7) The Pros and Cons of Boise, Idaho
           (Mostly revolves around coffee)
8) A list of words I didn't know
           (Words I still don't know from said list: all of them)
9) Training ideas
           (Includes 15 separate campus exercises)
10) Blank
11) Blank
12) Blue prints for death trap campus board
           (Injuries incurred: 1)
13) Poorly written prose
           (Hand writing declines with increased alcohol consumption)
14) Says 'Art Deco' and 'Pretty fits an all', repeatedly.
15) "I hope somewhere some woman hears my music and it helps her through her day"
           (I do not make music)
16) List of tips for reading Latin
           (1. identify the verb)
17) Uncategorizable
           (Excerpt: "Riding some [redacted] big wheels through the Chelsea Hotel.)
18) "A game where you get to be a boulder"
19) "I've been jotting a lot: Last 5 headlines of journal entries."
20) High Fashion Hyperbole
           (Includes only doodles of eggplants and the words "Male Terror")
21) Poorly written poetry
           (Please note: written earnestly.)
           (Excerpt: I'll not be your new font)
22) More of the same, really.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


This post marks a change in the tone of this blog. All climbing related posts will be found here: This is now stream of consciousness, and any other implications are unintended.

Q: Where do otters live?
A: Otter space
    (This is, of course, and Anne Carson joke. I can take no credit)

Q: What do you call a cereal made of rodents?
A: Honey bunches of stoats

Q: What do you call a brave rodent?
A: stoatic 

Q: What do you call someone who is deathly afraid of rats?
A: IrRATional

Q: How far did the boat full of bad otters have to go to afraid the Coast Guard?
A: A nau-ottercal mile.
(This, also is not mine. Thank you, Peter Erard)

Q: What do you call a rebel rodent?
A: A con-ferret.
(Shannon, I believe this was yours...)

Q: What did people say about the ermine who was sailing around the world?
A: He's otter his mind!
Q: What was his response?
A: No way, it's stoatally awesome!
(Also Shannon's)

Bonus Jams!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

What Your Sidewalk Shoveling Technique Says About Your Personality

Photo: Spenser Tang-Smith from The RV Proj

Sidewalk And Half The Yard: This is the first time you've seen snow. You grew up in San Diego, and went to school in Hawai'i. You moved to CO/UT/WY for the adventure. You've seen more than your share of Westerns.

Single Shoveled Line: Single parent. You and your kids all had toaster waffles for breakfast. Store brand too, so your kids will learn 'values'. 

Slanted Shovel Marks: I can't figure out what that means, because I can't figure out how one would make this pattern so precise in such a difficult medium. 

Hasn't Been Touched: It's Tuesday morning and you're stoned. Really stoned. Like haven't even looked out the window yet today. You have some chance of upgrading to one of the other techniques sometime later this afternoon. Probably after snacks.

Path From The Front Door To The Car: You're probably really busy. Way too busy to deal with things like shoveling all of the snow. Chances are good you did it wearing house slippers before changing into shoes that are worth more than my last paycheck. Fuck you, seriously, fuck you.

Snow Blower That Ends At Some Arbitrary Property Line: You either own your own landscaping company, or you are very conservative. You wore your best lined Carhart pants for this. You never come to any of the neighborhood picnics because the 20 something parents are always scowling at your NRA long sleeves. 

Single Set Of Boot Prints: You are probably depressed from the way your heels drag. The snow weighs heavy on your mind. It's tax season. Your ex-girlfriend is getting married. You haven't been to the doctor in years. 

Patterned, Perhaps Artistically: You have the ability to think for yourself. You probably do not pay much heed to the local HOA. Or maybe you have precocious toddlers who are into 'housework'. 

Neurotically Cleared: You are my father. Your kids will feel slightly resentful towards you every time it snows for many years. 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Thoughts Had While Updating Scorecard

Photo blatantly stolen from Kyle O'Meara

-Why don't I just keep up with this? Oh right, the website format sucks.

-Man, I hope Kyle O'Meara doesn't see this. Or this blog. Maybe Kyle O related guilt means I shouldn't do it? Whatever. I probably think too much.

-#2 female? That doesn't sound right. No one looks at that any way. It's not like Angie/AJ has a scorecard. What am I doing here any way?, making climbing even more masturbatory.

-2nd go. Should have flashed.

-I remember having so much fun writing comments for ascents. Something changed.

-Do people actually dislike 8a, or do they just love to hate it? These are the questions we need to ask. Hate-logging, is that a thing?

-This hoodie reeks. Time for laundry again.

-I wonder if there is a correlation between the amount of Buffy the Vampire Slayer I watch and the difficulty of boulders climbed. I'd like to see a graph.

-I wonder if Jens will put me on the home page for this.

-Somewhere I have a list of potential comments...

-I wonder if my finger still hurts?

-There are words in comments whose meanings I don't even remember. Is climbing destroying my ability to learn?

-All of that aside, I think I actually enjoy 8a. I keep coming back. I just wish Jens would make an iphone app.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The last 6 places I've showered, ranked.

alix cleo roubaud
My last 6 shower experiences, ranked from best to worst.

Cousin's house, Oakland, CA
the good: Private bathroom. Actually kind of relaxing to take a shower. I'm borrowing a towel, full sized and everything. So that's awesome. And the bathroom is warm even after exiting the safety of the curtain.

the bad: Sometimes worried about using too much hot water. The bottom of the tub is super slick too,
kinda dangerous with shaky post workout legs.

Uncle's house, Portland, OR
the good: Good water pressure, shampoo, conditioner. I think the last person to use the shower was all into 'healthy hair' so I took advantage of that and tried all the shampoos.

the bad: Kind of afraid of breaking something or like clogging the drain. And their house had too many facets. It probably had 20 water dispensing devices. I was too bothered by this to throughly enjoy the shower experience.

Seattle Bouldering Project, Seattle, WA
the good: Just a shower, nothing special. Expect that I went in during the SBP comp after party, and was immediately handed a beer. The shower beer helped a lot. As did the whole after party experience.

the bad: I don't remember if there was any down side to this shower. But I think I was more into the experience surrounding the shower than the shower itself.

Planet Granite, Sunnyvale, CA
the good: This shower had curtains, too. And I remember to use the handicapped one, so that helped. And free shampoo and conditioner.

the bad: Nothing about this shower was awful, or fantastic. It was just a shower. Nothing special.

Curry Village, Yosemite Valley, CA
the good: it was hot, like really hot. didn't have to worry about running out of hot water either. Free, too.

the bad: public restroom, but there were curtains involved, so that helped. For some reason I never brought clean clothes to change into, so I felt that negated some of the shower cleanliness.

Cabin #3, Redwood Cabins, CA
the good: It had all the basic makings of a shower. Like water, and, um, a drain.

the bad: Probably one of the least fulfilling showers I have ever taken, except that I really needed it. More of a faucet than a shower, which kinda made sense, 'cause the sink didn't have much of a faucet.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Chris Sinatra: A life examined.

This is Topher.  Ghost. Owl.

This is Topher taking a photo.

it’s fall here, and though the air is slow it’s thick impenetrable and penetrating the humidity solidifies and sits on my skin like sweat
This is Topher preparing to Instagram

This is Topher taking a photo of Half Dome

This is Topher taking a photo of water

This is another photo of Topher taking a photo of Half Dome

Here, I took a photo of Topher taking a photo of a camera taking a photo of Half Dome
I feel that the last picture validates the six preceding it. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

Ode to Car-bed

Snow blown in my eyes disco blizzard in the headlights moon white and spirit bright iceblinds darking my rear windshield shadow boxing and shaky hands running out of spare parts and the feeling is not leaving
Here in my world cave outside is slow and safe. My dugout of a car insulates me against the foreboding cold of twilight. My smallness is secondary to my thoughts, my stillness beats out my fears, and mountains magnified in the morning are of no consequence, quiescent at night. When I retire to car-bed I become a shadow piece, free of personality and fret—feeling only triumph over that act of living past another day.